Day 10: Compassionate Discipline

Today is Day 10, which is week 1 and 3 days of the Omer. . . Ha-yom asarah yamim, she-hem sh'vua echad u'sloshah yamim la-omer.

THE OMER INTERSECTION: Gevurah + Tiferet;  Compasionate Discipline

I had mentioned the other day that Gevurah, discipline, has a few components.  One aspect of focus thus far has been the way we commit ourselves to a goal or a routine.  But the step before commitment that is a part of discipline comes out of judgment.  We commit to those behaviors we judge to be worthwhile and important.  However, we also execute judgement in our interactions with others.  At times, we find the need to let others know our evaluations.  In doing so, we discipline others, attempting to help modify their behavior according to what we believe will be more useful.  

This side of discipline requires our intersected value of the day, compassion.  Tiferet demands that we ask ourselves a question before sharing our judgments with others, and perhaps even before we concretize our own judgments of others: Is this more about me or the other person?  When we discipline others without compassion, we often fall into a gray area of personal opinion.  Just because a certain behavior may not work for me does not mean it can't work for someone else.  Therefore, before we extend our judgements to others, in the form of discipline, our compassion compels us to do so for the other's benefit. 

THE OMER CHALLENGE: 

So, how do we apply this idea?  All day long we interact with others.  Therefore, we are constantly being put in a position where it is possible to judge others and even discipline others.  For today, let us take extra care to recognize when we are actively judging along these terms.  And as we catch ourselves doing so, let us ask our question: is my urge to say something/do something about this behavior more about me and my own taste or is it truly to help the other?  If so, how can I gently bring this discipline with care, respect, and from a perspective the other person can actually hear?

 Now, there are obviously times when we must stand up for ourselves for the sake of our own safety and security - and doing so is not necessarily uncompassionate, as long as we allow our compassion to be a part of our process of disciplining.

 

THE OMER UPDATE:

Yesterday's challenge was tough for me.  While I tried to assert discipline over my time during the day, and focus on certain goals that I have often ignored, I failed at my attempts to take extra efforts to track my time.  I did create a sheet to help me do so, just did not use it.  So, my assessment of this task and my efforts to grow are incomplete on this one - but tomorrow's another chance to try.  Some days we find that life requires other foci than the ones we set out to achieve.  This was one of those types of days.  As long as we are aware of the choices we are making as we make them (something I am working on) as we navigate the various pulls on our time, we actively live life and avoid letting it just happen to us (which on occasion has its benefits, as well, but is not a wonderful long-term strategy).