Day 12: The Need for Humility when Committing

Today is Day 12, which is 1 week and 5 days of the Omer . . . . . . Ha-yom snem asar yom, she-hem sh'vua echad v'arba'ah yamim la-omer.

THE OMER INTERSECTION: Gevurah + Chod;  Discipline + Humility

Why is it that we dedicate ourselves to a goal or task?  So far this week, we have been exploring what it takes to commit to a certain desired outcome.  But today's intersection compels us to explore the goals themselves behind the discipline we choose to take on for ourselves.
For the most part, when we take on new commitments, it is because we have perceived a need for change within ourselves or our routines.  In order to perceive the need for such changes to take place, one must come from a place of humility.  It takes chod, humility, to admit that we are not perfect and that we could be better off by acting differently.  Once we have allowed our chod to help us see the changes that we can incorporate into our lives as a means to improve and grow, we require gevurah, discipline, to become the change we hope to see.  Without chod, humility, there is no perception of the need for change, so why should we commit ourselves to anything that would involve change? 

THE OMER CHALLENGE: 

So, how do we apply this idea?  Humility requires us to reflect.  Without reflection, we do not question whether or not there can be more than who we are.  Reflection is the trait that makes us human, that allows us to put aside our ego and the base aspects of our personalities that respond out of physical or emotional desires - the yetzer ha-ra, inclination towards, in kabbalistic terms.  It is in this space that we have an opportunity to be honest with ourselves and not feel the need to pump ourselves up with overconfidence or self-worth in order to complete a task.  From this honesty, we can find the sparks of change we might want to commit to.  Yet, the challenge of allowing ourselves into this honest space is that we must not be too harsh on ourselves, so as to destroy our self-esteem.  We have to remember that while our Torah teaches that we are all made in the image of God, we are not God, and therefore it is okay to be flawed.  Yet, we each are instilled with our own gifts and strengths and with the capacity to improve.

SO, the task of the day is to find space to be honest with ourselves.  I'm reminded of a wonderful New Year's Tradition created by my good friends Jeremy and Gabe.  We sit together at an annual dinner to make lists of measurable goals for the year in six areas of life: family, friendships, relationships (spouse/significant-other), work, personal, health. In each area, we sit and reflect for a bit, identifying the areas for growth before making our commitments for making this next year a time of growth, renewal, and excellence.  In order to focus today's honesty - let us pick one of these six avenues for ourselves and explore it.  Truly be honest about our relationships or our work or our health, and evaluate our own role in these areas - not what someone else has done to us, not excuses that get in the way, but how we are doing in this aspect of our world.  Assuming that all the outside factors won't change, it is up to us to be the source of change in order to create a better outcome than we already have.  So, come up with at least one measurable change we can make and commit to in order to be a step closer to the person our humility has helped us to see is possible for us to be.  

 

THE OMER UPDATE:

 Well, we're still blogging!  The endurance of my commitment lives on.  So, that's a big one.  And I have named another goal I have and discussed it with a couple of people who can help me stay on course.  It feels good to know that I don't have to go it alone.  Even though the work is up to me, just sharing with someone else what I'm hoping to do already makes the road more desirable.  I guess I had already learned this lesson from the New Year's tradition I had mentioned that came from my friends Jeremy and Gabe.  We share our lists with one another, checking-in on our progress from the previous year before moving on to our new challenges.  We share our goals with one another, and therefore share the journey and a bit of the burdens, because we can look out for one another, call one another to task, and be strengthened by one another when we need it most to stick to our goals.  Long live our discipline!