Day 29: Coming Back Down To Earth - a Week of HUMILITY

Today is Day 29, which is four weeks and one day of the omer . . . Ha-yom tishah v'esrim yom she-hem arba'ah sh'vuot v'yom echad la-omer.

After such big events yesterday, it is EXTREMELY appropriate for me to be entering into this next week of chod, humility.  And in our progression of values, we've just been dealing with nitzach, endurance, which tends to be a bit more about oneself and bolstering self-confidence and self-worth to see the need to commit to one's own goals and dreams.  We have to feel that we are important enough to make a difference or to be worth improving if we are to see our tasks through.  But it is important to balance such pursuits with chod, humility, so that we do not become too self-important.  So, to shift the balance from us to the collective you, let's enter our week of chod!

 

THE OMER INTERSECTION: Chod + Chesed - the love of humility:
A beautiful perspective on chod, straight out of the Spiritual Guide to the Omer:
Humility is modesty; it is acknowledgement (from the root "hoda'ah"). It is saying "thank you" to G-d. It is clearly recognizing your qualities and strengths and acknowledging that they are not your own; they were given to you by G-d for a higher purpose than just satisfying your own needs. Humility is modesty; it is recognizing how small you are which allows you to realize how large you can become. And that makes humility so formidable.

As we visit our own humility, we do so from a starting place of chesed, love.  Often we can confuse humility with self-deprecation. It can sometimes be difficult to check our own egos without knocking ourselves down a few pegs.  But what this does is actually damage our own sense of self-confidence and self-worth.  Belief in oneself does not conflict with humility.  It is possible to have both, though it can be difficult.  We have to believe that I am good enough and capable enough to help make a difference, but that the difference I make is not all about me.  This is the challenge of our intersection of today - how do we show our humility without knocking ourselves down.

THE OMER CHALLENGE:

I like to have action-packed challenges, but it is unrealistic to think we can grow by just doing and not reflecting.  So, today's a reflection/noticing/get-to-know-oneself-better challenge.  

Let us all pay attention to our own thoughts and what we say today.  Let us try to bring added humility to all we do, but in any moments of expressed or experienced humility, let us try to avoid self-deprecation in what we say to and about ourselves.  If we do let it out, may we each correct ourselves and find a different way of expressing our own humility, our own sense of not being the centerpiece of that moment, but in a way that does not push us down, as well.

OMER REFLECTION:

I am really impressed by this intersection following on the heels of yesterday's.  I hadn't looked ahead enough to really understand how endurance and humility need to work hand in hand, but I'm excited to work on this for the next week!  We all have egos, and we all need to fuel those egos at times, but we also have to temper them so that we do not get too full of ourselves.  In many ways, blogging is quite an ego-filled endeavor - it takes quite a bit of chutzpah to assume that what I have to say is worthy of someone else's time to read and take-in.  In fact, just today, we have reached the 1,000 viewership threshold (I can't help it - my engineering background loves looking at statistics!).  I recognize the blogging chutzpah and it is important for me to see this blog more as an invitation.  I am gaining and growing from this process, and I'm hoping it will help those who read it to find your own growth, as well.  But I know it's not about me and what I say, it's about you and what you do with it.  

I just stood in front of the media in the legislature of North Carolina.  I could sit here and laud myself, and I do feel good about having walked my values.  I could also sit here and feel disappointed that my name didn't appear in the newspaper (that I know of) or that my soundbit didn't make it into the nightly news.  But that wasn't the point - the moment was not about me, it was about a cause.  And in each story I have seen about the rally against gay marriage, this press conference was mentioned as an alternative voice and an opposing point of view.  What I DID was important, but that was because I happened to be the person who was standing there.  Humility helps us to understand that for our important causes, any one of us can be that person - the key is that someone has to do it.  This time it was me.  Next time, I might be standing in the background, who knows?  The most important thing is to show up, walk our values, and continue trying to make a difference each and every day.