Today is Day 30, which is four weeks and two days of the omer . . . Ha-yom shloshim yom, she-hem arba'ah sh'vuot u'shnei yamim la-omer.
THE OMER INTERSECTION: Chod + Gevurah - Disciplined humility:
Today is an odd couple. Chod and Gevurah - discipline in humility. They don't seem to go together much, as humility has always struck me as a virtue that comes about organically. But I guess this is why today's intersection has great significance, because we do not always spend a great deal of energy actively pursuing and honing our humility.
So, the first question should be, in what ways do we need discipline/focus in our humility?
There is a rabbinic saying attributed to 18th-19th century Rabbi Simcha Bunim of Peshischa (a town in Poland), that: at all times one should carry two slips of paper, one in each pocket. When we have a moment in which we are feeling down on ourselves and low, we reach into one of the pockets to pull out the slip of paper that has the Talmudic statement, "For my sake, the entire world was created" (Babylonian Talmud Sanhedrin 38a). And at times in which we are feeling really high on ourselves - maybe a little too high, we reach into the other pocket to find the paper that has the words of Abraham, "I am but dust and ashes" (Genesis 18:27).
Perhaps this is the discipline we need - to be aware that there are times for humility and times to subdue our humility in search of our voice - the words and sounds for which the entire world was created.
We each have our tendencies - towards brashness and self-importance or towards humility. And we may experience each in different areas of our lives (i.e. put me in a conversation about baseball strategy, and I need a major dose of humility in order to listen to someone else's perspective and to avoid coming across as a know-it-all. Ask me to speak for a cause, and I need to remove my self-doubts and my excess humility to find my voice that can speak to the moment at hand). Gevurah demands that we harness our own tendencies to be able to apply the appropriate amount of humility for the task at hand for the individual who needs it.
Now, the caveat here is that we should never lack humility altogether. Even if we have to fight ourselves to go out and find a voice and speak it to others - in a relationship, in the workplace, on stage at a performance, even in a job interview - we should always do so with a humble approach. The moment does not need to be about me, but about the shared experience we are facilitating. Our humility draws us to understand that we have the potential to be a vehicle through which events in this world can happen. Other people could also be that person to do this, but at this moment, I'm the one who is here. With such a disciplined approach, we have a greater chance at successfully engaging others in the task at hand.
THE OMER CHALLENGE:
So, I shared a story about the two slips of paper. I LOVE this story. I even have a tallit (prayershawl) that has these two expressions written in Hebrew on the corners of the tallit, so I can keep this in mind while I pray and while leading others in prayer, as well.
Today, let's put this story into practice. Try it out, LITERALLY! Let's experiment. I am currently writing down the two expressions on two slips of paper: "For my sake, the entire world was created," and, "I am but dust and ashes." And now, I am putting those papers into my pockets. Let's each do the same and over the course of the day, when we need it, take out the appropriate statement and look at it (or at the very least, touch the pocket with the needed slogan and re-adjust the level of humility). Pay attention to how often and in what situations we turn to each statement. As I write this, I'm taking out the "dust and ashes" statement, as I'm very aware that I am audaciously asking you to do some crazy kind of exercise. And I need to keep in mind that my request is not for my benefit, but an offer to you to take it on as you would for your own sake, not mine.
Happy humbling (and un-humbling)!
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