Elul Cool-Down (in Tishrei)

Elul Cool-Down: Connecting

We have started the New Year, we’ve already reflected, and we’ve imagined our dreams for the year we hope to see. Now is the time for our cool-down to carry our Elul workouts into the year we have started; time to figure out which connections we hope to make.

- What is one way I can more deeply connect with each of my loved ones in my family in this New Year?  Will I read more to my children? Will I carve out a few extra minutes each night for my spouse before we go to sleep?  Spend a few moments figuring out how you might proactively deepen your connections with those you love, even when your connection might already be great.

- What is one way I can more deeply connect with myself in this New Year? This time of year is about reflection and growth.  Now that we’ve identified the person we hope to become, what will get us there? How do I connect with the inner me?  Will I read a few books I hoped to get to?  Will I carve out running time to clear my head?  Will I invest in my Jewish traditions that help center and ground me?  How can you make sure to keep your “you-ness” throughout this year?

If we can find points of connection this year, I’m certain it will be an incredible New Year for us all.

Elul Workout #5: Dreaming

Elul Workout #5: Dreaming

With the New Year upon us, it’s time to envision what this New Year could be.  

Ask yourself:

• If I am able to accomplish one big change in my life during 5776, what do I hope it will be?

• When I reflect on my year right before the next High Holidays, how do I hope to feel differently than I feel right now?

Now, go and call a loved one, wish them a “Shanah Tovah,” a happy new year, and share your answers to these questions.  This person can be your “accountability partner” – helping you stay true to your own goals.  Feel free to ask them these questions, as well.

If you have enjoyed this mode of reflection, I encourage you also to sign up for 10q, a site where you can reflect on some meaningful questions about the year that has passed and your hopes for our new one.  They will send you an email each day during the 10 days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Then, next year, they re-send you the previous year’s answers, so you can see your progress!

I wish you and your family a wonderful, meaningful, super-amazing-incredible 5776 full of health, happiness, and pickles (because they are always so delicious)!  May your dreams come true, and if they do not, may the work you do this year bring you closer to them.

Elul Workout #4 - Listening

Are we feeling the burn yet?  I hope that our workouts are bringing meaningful reflection and active preparation for the New Year.  Enjoy the next installment:

Elul Workout #4: Listening

Step 1: Take out your calendar, find a time for 10-15 minutes where you can “work-out” and copy the following steps into a time slot that works for you.  (If now is a good time, then skip step 1)

Step 2: Take our your reflections from last week and review (If you need a reminder of what the previous weeks involved, click here, here and click here)

 

Step 3: A huge part of our success in breaking our patterns and finding newness in this next year comes from our ability to pause for a few minutes and listen.  Out of the still, quiet places, we often find the most inspiration.  We also have the opportunity to find new perspectives and ideas when we put our own agendas on hold and we fully listen to others around us.  Practice listening by calling a friend/family member with whom you are overdue for a chat.  Ask them what they are hoping for in this new year – personally, professionally, spiritually.  Then, just listen.  Ask clarifying questions where appropriate to understand more fully, but just listen.

Step 4: Pause for a few moments and listen to your own heart.  If you meditate, take a few moments to do so.  Then, write your own list: My dreams for this year include . . .

I hope these moments of listening bring us closer to the kind of fresh start we all need for this New Year.

L’shanah Tovah!

Rabbi Ari N. Margolis

Elul Workout #3: Forgiving Others/Forgiving Ourselves

Step 1: Take out your calendar, find a time for 10-15 minutes where you can “work-out” and copy the following steps into a time slot that works for you.  (If now is a good time, then skip step 1)

Step 2: Take our your reflections from last week and review (If you need a reminder of the previous weeks, click here or click here)

Step 3: Reflect on the following questions (you are strongly encouraged to journal your thoughts and put them down on paper).  Be honest and avoid the temptation to become defensive, even to yourself.

-          Reflect on at least one pattern/routine you hope to change in the next year.

         o   Who must you forgive in order to move forward? 

         o   Who do you need to ask forgiveness from? 

         o   Make a list. 

         o   At the end of each list, add your name.

-          Of those you need to forgive, pause and take a moment to think about what you need in order to offer forgiveness – can you do it even if they do not reach out to you?  Remember: forgiving does not require forgetting, but it does require openness.

           -          Of those you need to ask forgiveness, list the offenses you feel that you have brought to others and have the need to move past. 

           -          Finally, take a few moments to reflect on yourself – what do you need in order to let go of looking negatively at your own sense of self in this matter?  Write down your own ask for forgiveness and your response to that ask.   

           -          OPTIONAL: Repeat for another pattern you had identified

Step 4: Take your calendar back out – schedule times to email, call, facetime, text, facebook message, tweet, or visit with the people you hope to ask forgiveness and do it!  Say the hard words and mean them. 

May these Elul workouts bring us a step closer to a healthier, happier new year!